12 Months – 15 Minutes At A Time
I remember this time last year. The festive season in full swing. In some respects it feels like yesterday, in others it feels like a different lifetime.
I was supposed to be contemplating my usual Christmas traditions – the tree, the cards, the decorations, and the social celebrations. Instead, I was gasping for air. Literally.
I needed to get through that December. For 2019 to be over and to usher in 2020 (what little did I know?!) I had absolutely no idea how I was going to do it.
I wanted to climb into a hole and emerge once Auld Lang Syne had played. It was just too much.
Christmas songs were everywhere. Endless conversations about who was doing what and when, their excitement about it all. Even during the slightly better moments, there was the pervasive hum of radio and TV marketing, suggesting presents for people no longer in my life…it was inescapable.
I was struggling to cope with a deluge of uncertainty and change. I had overcome hardships many times before, but this was different, harder. I was floored.
A series of devastating events triggered what my doctor diagnosed as a reactive stress disorder. I was simultaneously experiencing shock, loss, grief, depression and anxiety. The disorder manifested itself physically, emotionally and spiritually. There were two other distinct and scarily uncertain health outlooks bookending four short months. I had a broken relationship and what felt like a million decisions to make about where to live and what I was going to do for a living. I knew I no longer wanted my coveted Chief of Marketing job, despite adoring my talented team and bosses.
I felt splintered. I questioned if my values were being met, if I was living my life in the way I truly wanted to…
How would I pay the bills?
Who walks away from a six figure salary?
How could I leave my team? London?
Where were my boundaries?
How has this happened?
Why didn’t I speak up sooner?
And for the first time ever in my life, the question ‘Why me?’ was on repeat. I hadn’t even had that thought when my ex-fiance cheated on me six months before we were due to get married in my early 20’s (I walked away, btw). At that time, I had actually thought ‘Why not me? I’m no different to the next person’.
What’s the purpose of me telling you this?
Well, my journey back up from rock bottom gave me time to really connect to me. Throughout 2020, I said yes to myself (note, not everyone else), and not by throwing myself into work, my usual resolve. I explored means and ways, tried and tested a variety of support and resources. In putting me first, and with expert support and loved ones, I found new and alternative ways of being. I came through the other side, stronger, healthier, happier. My journey to wellness compelled me to found Soulitude7, a business committed to provide a bespoke fusion of practical support and wellbeing guidance. I have a passion and talent to help others, and want to share a pathway to living a life you truly love.
Today, as I stood opening branches on the same Christmas tree that I could barely look at last year, I felt a depth of gratitude for my difficult journey. All. of. it. Had I not travelled that hard road, I wouldn’t be able to share with you, my experience and insights into boundaries, empowerment, wellbeing practices and resilience – what is now The Soulitude7 toolkit for intentional living. And so I wanted to share my story, one of triumph over adversity, and offer some hope.
As we come towards the end of 2020, a masterclass in the unexpected, we have been rattled to our core. We have been forced to prioritise what and who truly matters, and despite moments of despair we have carried on. We are a resilient bunch. We really are.
And with sunlight on the horizon, there is this month of December that’s fully loaded to get through. Loaded with expectations around spend, presents and presence. It can feel like a tsunami of beliefs, overwhelm, and at times, awfully long. My advice to you, as imparted to me, is to take it 15 minutes at a time. That’s all you need to get through. When you look back, like I am today, you’ll realise just how far you’ve come.
I have a deep empathy for anyone who is struggling right now. For whatever reason.
Know that you will always have a friend in Soulitude7. We are here for you, to help you live your life intentionally. You have come this far. You will get through this. And should you need us, we are here to walk alongside you.
Good days are coming.